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I Am The Duck

Thursday, May 8, 2008

6:42PM - Photos!

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piece me together

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

4:44AM - I was cut open...

I heard this saturday night on the way home... And it bothered me some.

"Bleeding Love"

Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone's looking round
Thinking I'm going crazy

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

But nothing's greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

And it's draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love



So I went out to a club saturday. Whitneys mom "watched" phoenix for me. Actually I put her to bed, waited till she fell asleep then left. I went to a bar called the Gusher first where a bunch of old men kept hitting on me. Then I went to the club. It was alright. There was a nice band there. Not great but it was nice to hear live music again. They did either a pearl jam or temple of the dog cover. I dont remember what it was. But that rocked since I hadnt heard the song in FOREVER.

So yeah, I guess Whitney and I are friends now. Shit still sucks. But my life is so much better down here. I just need to find some friends!!

Well, the next time I have child care I'm going to Denton Texas. There is a lesbian bar down there and I'm going to either get laid or find some friends, or both. Now wouldnt that be awesome. I'm not looking for a relationship now but I am dying to go out and have fun and just be me!!! I deserve it!


I kick ass!!!


hahahah I've gotten my old personality back that I had during my concert days. Just older and more responsible. I missed myself. I really do kick ass. haha not to blow my own bubble but I feel wonderful. I dont feel trapped or held down... I really do feel free.

Speaking of... I wrote a song today, which I hadn't done in forever!! I missed my writings. Ya'll know I used to do it all the time. I left it out in the car or else I would type it up for you. I had a bit of writers block when writting it but I must say that its pretty good after all this time. I think I'm going to pick it back up again.

Well, next time text time... hahahaha I dont know

I'm tired, I'm working 7-4's right now and I need sleep.


Laters!!

Current mood: tired
piece me together

Saturday, April 19, 2008

12:02PM - Forever, it seems.

Alot has changed.

Lets catch up really quick.

I spent a year and five months working at Vermillion Convalescent Center after I graduated from Indiana Business College.

I met Whitney Sherwood through a friend that I'm sure people on here know. (The friend being Brittany Sinclair, after she married. She went to North Vigo HS and to concerts.) Brittany is now an ex friend due to reasons I'll not delve into right now.

Whitney and I met at my appartment during one of the get togethers we had with our friends. We were attracted to each other, but I was lost in what my church believed so I denied it.

After months of battling myself and everything that was going on, I feel like I've gotten through all the crap. I came out to my mother and she exploded. Of course.

Whitney and I have been together since October 2007. Right now we are living in the spare room at her mothers house. We are waiting for everyone to move before we can move into our house. It shouldnt be long now.

There's way too much to go through at the moment. Almost two years of not updating.

I think I've finally found my happy medium.

I'm at the library right now. Things are getting busy, phoenix wants to play. I'm going to go for now.


If anyone reads this, thanks.
I'll probably be on here about once a week. Phoenix and I come to the library while Whitney is at work.

Lots of Love


Anni

Current mood: contemplative
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Thursday, August 17, 2006

10:19AM - Look!! LOOK!!!

Phoenix is on the internet!!!

http://wbgl.org/gallery2/main.php?g2_itemId=7549

This was taken when I donated items to WBGL/Kid Kare Back2School drive. She was looking at the people who were "oooohing and awwwing" over her and she was being shy. Afterwards she reached for me to hide, lol.



By the way... My last day of school is September 14th...


MY GRADUATION CEREMONY IS NOVEMBER 4TH AT 7PM. IT IS BEING HELD AT NORTH VIGO HIGH SCHOOL

(Its soo long afterwards because the school activities take priority over an outside party using their gymnasium. I dont know if I will be celebrating or when, but I will let you know when and what, etc)





I'M GRADUATING COLLEGE!!!!!

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Saturday, August 5, 2006

1:29PM - HOOOOORAAAAAYY!!!!

As of 1:25 today I have fixed a major problem on our computer, along with about 1 dozen additional problems and deleted some spyware, etc.

Been a long day.


But some ones not happy. Have to go play dead now.

piece me together

Saturday, July 22, 2006

10:54PM

As of 3:08 am July 22nd, 2006...

Phoenix Rose Bogard has officially lived one whole year of her life.







I have cried... several times.

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Tuesday, July 4, 2006

2:45PM - Yup

Soo...



I had a date last night...


He made me dinner and everything...



Call me!

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Thursday, June 29, 2006

8:57AM - THIS IS NUTS!

The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water
temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be.

Here are some facts about the 1500s:

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.


Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house dad the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water"!

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs".

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt.
Hence the saying, Dirt poor. The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway. Hence the saying a thresh hold.

(Getting quite an education, aren't you?)

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could "bring home the bacon". They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat".

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would
sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of
places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these
coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the
inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they
would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night ("the graveyard shift") to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a "dead ringer"!

And that's the truth...Now, whoever said History was boring!!!

Educate someone. Share these facts with a friend

Current mood: entertained
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Wednesday, June 28, 2006

10:18AM - 6 teeth and counting!!!

I found another tooth on top that had popped through yesterday. I knew she had been teething terribly but I blamed it on one of her canines (its coming in, just taking its time!). I had just picked her up from daycare yesterday and I when I sat her down in the seat in the car I started tickling her and when she smiled I was like "What was that!" It was just barely showing, but its in!!

Also... Birthday Party!!

Woo!

Doo the Dance! (Phoenix loves to dance!!)

24 DAYS TILL PHOENIX'S BIRTHDAY AND BIRHTDAY PARTY!!

Current mood: excited
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Monday, June 26, 2006

12:28PM - Okies...

I'm a little irritated...


I just got my grades back from last quarter and I did alright. I made Deans List again, which I was nervous about, but I'm actually kindof ticked off about my internet class because I made my first grade lower than an "A" in that class. I was doing so well and they had to make me do a stupid internet class!!!

Current mood: irritated
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Sunday, June 25, 2006

6:22PM - Men be careful!

"Be very careful if you make a woman cry, because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man's rib. Not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior, but from the side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved."

Sent to me from some one very special.

piece me together

Saturday, June 3, 2006

12:54PM - OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!

DONT LET THIS BE HAPPENING!!!



SHE'S NOT OLD ENOUGH!!!






***CRIES***

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Wednesday, May 31, 2006

12:42PM - Pictures from the Indiana Medical History Museum in Indy

40 PicturesCollapse )

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Saturday, May 20, 2006

8:49PM - Pictures!! 31 of them!!

Phoenix takes a trip!Collapse )

Current mood: busy
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Sunday, May 14, 2006

5:21PM - To all ove you that this applys to!

myspace, glitter graphics

piece me together

Thursday, May 11, 2006

2:21PM - Loookiee!!! (Pictures!)

Something new!Collapse )

Current mood: excited
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Wednesday, April 26, 2006

1:47PM - WOOOOP!

Phoenix's SECOND tooth just broke through today. Its the bottom right one in the front. I think the other front top tooth will be in within the next three-four days(being generous). The other bottom front one will be in soon, then those pearly whites will be in her pictures! YAY!!













BTW, Tiffany and Amanda... THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE BABY ORAGEL!!!!!!!!! IT HAS COME IN SO WONDERFULY HELPFUL!!! SO MANY HUGGS TO YOU BOTH!!!

Current mood: excited
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Tuesday, April 25, 2006

12:24AM - HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!!

PHOENIX GAVE ME THE BESTEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVER!!!!!!!!!



HER FIRST TOOTH BROKE THROUGH!!!!!!



Its the one in front on her upper right. The one next to it and the two bottom ones are threatening, they just arent here yet. HOOORAAAAAAAYYYY


I'm so excited. All her crabbiness has paid off.





Ohhh and the wedding was incredable. It was so beautiful I dont even know how to express it. One thing I do know, God definately blessed that day. It has been such and amazing weekend!

Also, I am so proud of my brother, Daniel. He is an inspiration to me.

Current mood: good
piece me together

Friday, April 21, 2006

12:53PM

So... I'm not a teenager anymore. *Twirls finger in air*


I stopped by Tiffany's after class, and after picking up Phoenix, and we went to McDonalds and got ice cream. We then proceeded to the tables outside of Rally's to eat it. Phoenix got her own. Its nice that I can talk to Tiffany. Its like we're the only ones who have grown up. I dont need more friends. I just need to get out more. I got a message from God yesterday too. It was nice. My mom sent me flowers at school.

I dont like my birthday. Never really have. Its just a reason to celebrate. So I'm not too excited.
The 19th is the anniversary of the Oklahoma City Bombing, the twentieth is the anniversary of the Columbine Shooting and its Hitlers birthday. My birthday just sucks...

I'm really excited because there is a wedding tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!! **Dances around** I cant wait!!!


Now... how to drive over two hours with a nine month old in the car with only me to take care of everything???? God... Please, Please, Please.... LET HER SLEEP!! :(:(:(


I'm tired... I slept too much and too hard. Phoenix is cranky... and I'm here alone, again.

I cant wait till May 8th. :(

Current mood: Tired, Sad
piece me together

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

6:38PM - 'Lo!

I just wanted to wish some one a:


HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!!



She knows who she is!




PS: Sorry its late, I ment to do it but time got a way from me and the I realized what day it was! LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

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